I have realized quite a few things about myself in the past few months. Some good, some neutral, and some bad. One of those bad things that I don’t like to talk about is the fact that I can have a pretty negative outlook on life. Whether I voice it or not, it is still there in my heart festering and creating feelings of jealousy, depression, anger, revenge, etc, etc. You get the idea.
Anyways….to counteract this negative mood swing that I sometimes jump into, I am starting a “theme” with my blog called “Testify Tuesday”. I have made a pact with myself and all of you viewers (whoever you are) that every Tuesday I am going to post something positive about how God has worked in my life. It will help me be joyful:) Plus, it will help me blog more regularly…But if you read this, I’d love to see some others post about what God is doing in their lives as well. Join the band wagon, people! Let’s give a testimony each Tuesday! Come back here every week and read about what god has done:)
Here’s my first of many:
I’m going to share about how God works in mysterious ways and let you all in on how my husband (Justin) and I met. We attended the same college ministry but were never very close until I found out that he had a Live Journal blog (haha…remember those??…anyone?). So anyways I began to casually read his LJ and discovered that he liked someone in our church… who just happened to be one of my best friends. Little did Justin know, I liked one of his best friends at the time!
I confronted Justin about it one day over an instant message (haha) and ever since, we began to talk and give advice every day about life, love, and God. You see, neither of us had ever been in a relationship and followed God at the same time before. When I got serious in my relationship with God, I made a decision to never date a man unless I could see myself marrying him and felt God leading me in that direction. Justin felt the same way about dating a woman…he wouldn’t pursue a relationship unless he had prayed about it a lot, knew the girl well, and felt God leading him to talk to her about being in a relationship.
Both Justin and I felt almost convinced that God was leading us to these two people that we liked and would, maybe, marry them some day. So we would pray for each other, share Bible verses on seeking God and all kinds of topics, give advice, and through all of that we formed an amazing bond of friendship. We even attended a few teachings together at this conference that our church went to over winter break. We helped each other learn so much about Godly relationships, and how God was supposed to be first in an individual’s life and also in a relationship.
It went on for a little over a year, and we were still convinced that some day we would be with these people that we still liked…but we did nothing about it because a.) I was a girl and I was a firm believer in a guy asking the girl out and b.) Justin felt God continually telling him to wait on asking out this girl that he liked.
Eventually, the girl that Justin liked(aka one of my best friends) left the picture due to ..well …life. And the guy that I liked eventually entered a serious relationship with another girl. I was crushed for a while, but I had this strange peace that God would eventually let me know why I had wasted so much on liking this guy for so long. Justin was a great friend through all of it. And I, in turn, was a great friend to Justin and tried to help him out.
A few months later, Justin and I were happy and content. We didn’t have an infatuation with anyone anymore, and we just had fun being with our group of friends and working in the church. Until a few months later….
I don’t remember an exact moment or event when I realized that I was in love with Justin. But I remember feeling SO WEIRD around him when we would hang! He acted like he was interested in me sometimes…and a lot of our friends would always hint toward the fact that we should be together and they thought that he liked me. I would wonder if he mutually shared this new-found love. Or if he could tell that I was in love with him….anyone know that feeling I’m talking about?
Anyways, It had been a few months and I finally mustered up the courage to talk to Justin. I drove to his dorm, called him, and told him to come down to my car because I wanted to talk to him (which wasn’t uncommon….we were pretty good friends). So he got in my car and we sat in the parking lot….I’m not sure how long I sat there mumbling, but I’m pretty sure what I got across was “I’m not sure if you like me, but I heard you did…and you act like it….so if you do..I’d like to know” (I wasn’t about to tell him I had feeling for him, so I wanted his side of the story first…) He said that right now he wanted to be friends. So I played it off like I was relieved and on the same page and we went on with our lives ( of course, inside, I was crying and upset because I’m an emotional woman)
A couple weeks later, I was hanging out in his dorm with some friends and he said he wanted to talk to me. We managed to get alone and Justin said something along the lines of ” I really do have feeling for you, you’re my best friend, and I’d like to pursue a relationship with you. Let’s pray about it”. So from there we prayed (a lot!), we went on separate spring break mission trips so we got some time to think about it, he got my dad’s permission, and we were dating…..and 10 months later we had a picnic, he sang me a song, and proposed:)
So the amazing way God worked is this: we were so focused on each other’s friends that we were able to get close in a strictly- friends- kind- of- way, we were able to learn together about what a true Godly relationship should look like, and we became best friends and soul mates at the same time:)
God is good!!